


Rose Colored Boy

by wekingsandprettythings



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Phanfiction, Pianist Dan Howell, Strangers to Lovers, director phil lester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2018-12-05 07:05:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11572908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wekingsandprettythings/pseuds/wekingsandprettythings
Summary: Dan's a struggling piano player trying to make his way through life, Phil works as a director at his brothers record label. What are the chances that Lystr Records needs a piano player and a certain rosy cheeked boy is looking for a job?





	1. Chapter 1

Ever since they were little Phil Lester and his older brother, Martyn, had been best friends. While Phil would describe his brother as a controlling know-it-all, he loved him and he always knew his brother would go far in life with those qualities. Sure enough, now Martyn’s 35 and the manager and owner of Lystr Records, and he made sure to save a spot for Phil.

Martyn started the company around the same time Phil graduated from Film school, so that Phil could come to the company as head art director and also help make music videos. They took on local artists, helped some of their friends make EP’s and eventually found the most talented artist they never dreamed of finding. 

Cornelia was just a YouTuber, making songs and uploading them to the internet with no real plan behind it. Phil found her one day when searching for a new song he liked, she had covered it and Phil loved her sound. Phil brought her to Martyn's attention and they signed her within a few days. If it wasn’t for her amazing talent, Phil’s sure that Martyn would have signed her just because he found her absolutely breathtaking. 

Cornelia came to the studio with a plethora of her own songs that she wanted to turn into an album, within a few months they had recorded 10 songs for and EP and were about to release her first single. That’s when Phil came in. 

When it came to making a music video he was the best. Phil’s mind was described by others as something wonderful and different, ever changing and unpredictable. It was perfect for creating art and grabbing the attention of others. With a few listens of a song, he could scribble down ideas and truly bring the song to life. That was proven by the Brit award he had for New Comer Video Of The Year. 

Her single and album were a success. She went on to tour Europe and won a Brit award that year. It was crazy, but she was ready to do it all over again. While her first album was called Not In Love, and all the songs had a strong vibe of being single and loving it, she wanted her second album to relate to what she was experiencing this time around. Love. 

Over the year and a half that Cornelia had been with them, Phil had watched her fall in love with his brother, and he watched his brother fall in love with her. He sat back and watched as they laughed together, and wrote together. Sometimes she’d teach him how to play different instruments and he’d pretend not to know anything so she’s demonstrate with her hands on his. Phil liked seeing his brother happy. 

Although, Phil wasn’t too happy. The more he saw his brother with someone, and the more he had to hear about how wonderful being in a relationship was, the angrier he got that he was alone. He’d only ever had one relationship. And that didn’t end too well. They were in high school, they had made it through 3 years together when she through it all away for some pretty girl she had met on her annual family vacation. She completely broke his heart. 

“What do you think about this song?” Cornelia asked, beginning to play a soft song about love. What a surprise. Her voice was soft and genuine, all the lyrics sounded like they were directly pulled from her heart, but it lacked something to really make the words stick.

“It’s good but it’s missing something.” Phil told her. “I think it needs piano and maybe some violin to really make the words hit you. You want the music to have the arm hairs standing up effect to match the lyrics.”

“That’s what I was thinking.” Cornelia agreed before moving some things around on the soundboard and playing another clip. “Especially here, this is where it gets serious and I really want people to feel how I feel.”

“I’ll start looking around for some piano players, I don’t think we have any here though.” Martyn suggested. 

“I can ask my Film friend PJ if he knows any composers that can help.” Phil pitched in, pulling out his phone and sending PJ a text.

-

When Dan was 11 he fell in love with music. He’d never had such an outlet to let himself feel free before. Before he’d sit alone in his room with nothing. Eventually his love for just listening to music moved to playing and creating his own. His parents never had the money or the time to help him get lessons or proper instruments but he made do with what he had.

They got him a small electric piano for Christmas one year, it was also the year he got the internet. The year he finally started to practice and teach himself piano and fulfill his dreams. He played for hours and hours, learning all his favorite songs and creating some of his own. 

When it came time for him to go to university it wasn’t really a shock that he wanted to do something music related. The only questions was what did he want to do exactly. 

He went on to do a Bachelors in Music, studying theory and composing in Manchester. He loved it. He loved explaining the stories each note expressed and the lives and love that was behind each and every song. Some people made fun of his eclectic taste or called him an asshole for looking into the music too much, but he didn’t care, the music deserved that kind of love and appreciation Dan had.

When he graduated he immediately received a job offer for a small recording studio in London, that’s where he meant his best friend Dodie. She was working on her EP and he was helping compose most of it. But Dan’s bad luck got the best of the situation. Less than 6 months later the record company went under, leaving Dan and Dodie without jobs and their dreams a little bit crushed. 

Dodie asked Dan to move in with her so he could stay in London, Dan got a job at the pizza hut down the road from their place to make some money while his roommate stayed in and made YouTube videos most days. They worked quite well together. Dan kept helping her make music and she even had him in some of her videos. 

Months went by, he woke up, went to work, and came home to make some music no one would hear and then the cycle repeated itself. A part of him started to die a little every day when he woke up. He hated it.

Until one fateful day he got a call from his old friend Pj. 

“Hello?” Dan answered down the line.

“Hey man, are you still looking for a job?” PJ asked.

“Always. Why?” he was a bit hesitant in his answer. 

“My old friend Phil from film school is looking for a piano player for his record label, can i give him your information to say you’re interested?” 

“YES!” Dan yelled down the phone, making Dodie, who was currently editing across the room, jump.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter mentions anxiety so if that is a trigger of yours please be careful, otherwise please enjoy and let me know what you think in the comments :)

Dan was nervous for his interview. But then again he was always nervous. His anxiety was always present, but more so when he didn’t need it to be. He was talented, he was experienced, and he was confident. However, that didn’t stop the little voice telling him he was going to fail.

Its followed him around his whole life. Through school, relationships, recitals, and now job interviews. He wasn’t nervous when he got his job at pizza hut, because he didn’t particularly care. But now that he’s going to potentially be working at a label again, he’s nervous beyond his wildest beliefs. 

When his last job fell through, he almost stopped with music all together. It took a lot of persuasion from Dodie, and his now ex boyfriend, for him to start playing again. It's also the reason why he’s moved in with Dodie. She saw how stressed, anxious and upset he was all the time, and thought it would be best if he was in a creative environment to start feeling better again. 

He’s mainly been playing covers, it takes a lot out of him to write something of his own. He’s lost himself, and when he finally comes back, so will the music. 

“What are you going to play in your interview?” Dodie asked, leaning on his door frame and watching as Dan sat at his piano, contemplating touching the keys. 

He let out a long breath before turning around. “I don’t even think I want to go anymore.”

“You can’t let your past experiences keep you from achieving your goals.” Dodie said. A small smile on her face, she always knew what to say to him. 

“I don’t want to get excited about this, I can’t walk into it thinking this is going to be my life again, last time I did that, and you know what happened.” Dan said before turning back to the piano and laying his head on the keys, listening as they played from the pressure of his head. 

It wasn’t his fault that the last job he had fell through, but his mind kept telling him that it was. That they were fine before he came along, that in the short 4 months he was there, it was his fault that they went under. His presence alone was the reason someone else failed. He took them down with him, like he always did. 

“Play me something, take your mind off it.” Dodie whispered, sitting down next to him. 

He sat up, straightened his back, and played. Dodie wasn’t surprised when he started the notes of Liability by Lorde. 

“Baby really hurt me  
Crying in the taxi  
He don't wanna know me  
Says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm  
Says it was poison  
So I guess I'll go home  
Into the arms of the girl that I love  
The only love I haven't screwed up”

Dan sang, Dodie laid her head on his shoulder. She stayed there till the song was over. “You’re going to be fine.” 

“Thank you.”

-

Dan sat in the lobby of Lystr Records, he put one leg over the other and looked around. It had a safe and comfortable feel. The wooden accents on the brick walls, the large illuminated letters that spelled ‘LYSTR’ on the wall, the soft couches and the end tables that were scattered with magazines covered with their clients. It was professional. Dan just hoped he was as well.

When the manager called, he said he didn’t have to get dressed up, just to come as himself as the artist who was looking for a player wanted to meet the people behind the music before hiring them. So that’s what he did, he wore his skinny jeans with the rips in them, a long grey t-shirt and his black jean jacket. 

“Daniel? Cornelia will see you now.” a nice blond woman spoke into the waiting room. 

Cornelia. “Holy fuck.” he whispered to himself before following the woman into a room in the back. 

The room was big and round. Piano’s, drums, guitars, everything you can think of surrounded Cornelia and a red haired man in the center of the room. 

“Hi, you must be Daniel.” The man spoke, placing his hand out for Dan to shake. “I’m Martyn, you probably know Cornelia.” 

Dan reached out and shook both their hands, “It’s so nice to meet you, I’m shocked, oh my god.”

“Oh dear, I’m just a person it’s fine.” She spoke in a sweet Swedish accent, totally different to how she sounded when she sang. “I need you to sign some papers before we get to work, I can’t have you sharing my secrets now, can I?” she jokingly said with a soft laugh. 

“Okay.” Dan said nervously.

The papers he was handed were legal papers, confidentiality agreements that he wouldn’t share any of what he saw or heard in the studio. He happily signed them, his signature looking more horrendous than normal as he was shaking. 

“First I’d just like to hear how you play. I’m looking for a unique sound to bring to my new record. I want the people to be drawn in by the sounds and the words. I want to leave them breathless. Can you help me?” Cornelia walked as she talked, she was a performer, she had to tell a story in everything that she did. 

Dan shook his head in order to say yes. He sat down at the piano, he took a deep breath and began to play. He was surprised when the keys he was playing weren’t for what he had rehearsed, but instead an original he had been working on. 

The room filled with the sound of love. It bounced off the curved walls and crawled up his skin, it left goosebumps on himself. He felt emotional, he hadn’t been able to play this song in order to complete it in months, it’s just sat in the back of his mind waiting to be touched on. 

He played and played, adding new parts and repeating others until it was a perfect piece that he never thought he would be able to finish. 

When he stopped he took another breath and closed his eyes, feeling calm and content, he’d forgotten where he was and that there were people watching him, until there was a small clapping in the distance. 

“You’re hired.” Cornelia spoke into the room. Her words bouncing around the room and hitting Dan like a gunshot. 

He was blown back, he place his hand on his chest, “You’re kidding?”

“No. That was beautiful. I have goosebumps.” She said while walking towards him. “You’re amazing.”

“Thank you, I’ve been working on that for months now.” Dan slightly smiled at her, he was proud of himself. 

“Here,” Cornelia passed him a notebook open to a song. “Can I sing over that song?” she asked.

“Yeah, no of course,” Dan said taking the song and looking it over.

He began to play again, gently touching each key and bringing the sound back to life. Cornelia stood beside him, waiting a few seconds and singing along. Her voice added to his playing in a way dan never thought it could. He thought he was dreaming for half of it. 

When it was over she was crying a little. “You somehow managed to help me put every single one of my emotions into this song. Thank you.” and she hugged him. “Who hurt you? Someone had to have hurt you to compose that.”

“Life. I lost my job and I lost all hope and this is what I wrote because of it. It was cathartic to get all my feeling out in the form of notes, and to see you put it to this beautiful song about finding love and being happy again is wonderful.” he was still hugging her, a little teary. “Thank you.” 

 

~~~

 

Phil was surprised when PJ texted him back with contact information for some person named Daniel Howell. He passed it along to Martyn the next morning and left it at that. Apparently PJ grew up with the guy and says he’s amazing and has recording experience. Sounds good, but it’s not Phil’s choice. 

If he was being honest he also didn’t care all that much. Sure, he wanted Cornelia’s music to be the best it could be but he was tired of hearing all the love songs. He was tired of wanting what his brother has. All Phil wants is to be with a nice person who loves him and to finally feel happy again. 

College sucked after Rose left him. He slept around, made a reputation of being a bit of a slut and never pursued anything more than sex from people. It was his way of feeling wanted without being able to get hurt. 

Its worked for a while, he still goes out and finds one night stands when he can, but his heart can’t take it anymore. He needs that loving companion who will come into his life and change it. He needs his own Cornelia to help him. 

He’s thought about dating again for a while now. He thought about how wonderful it would be to have someone else in his life to talk to. Not just his brother and his co-workers. 

All his life, whenever he’s had a problem, he’s always gone to his brother for help. And seeing as they work together now, it’s been a lot easier for him to talk with Martyn every day. But for some reason, it’s taken him forever to tell him this. For a good week, he’s tried to start the conversation about wanting to date again, but not getting anywhere. 

“I think I’m ready to start dating again.” Phil randomly spoke out to Martyn after minutes of silence. 

“Good. I was starting to worry I’d never have nieces or nephews.” Martyn laughed, “but in all seriousness, I’m glad. You need some happiness.” 

“I just don’t want my heart to be broken again.” Phil said, looking down and twiddling his thumbs together.

“It’s rough, I know, but it’s out there.” Martyn shot him a quick smile, “Also Louise in HR has been eyeing you up, maybe ask her out to test the dating waters. You never know where it’ll take you.”

“Really?” Phil was surprised. Louise was always kind to him, and they get along well, he’s never seen her look at him however. 

“Oh yeah.” Martyn said with a cheeky nod, “Go give her this as an excuse to talk to her.” he handed Phil some papers from his desk. 

The papers were hiring information for Daniel Howell. Phil stared at the the whole way up to Louise’s office.

“Hey Lou, I have some-” He looked up and was caught off guard by a tall rose cheeked boy sitting at her desk. “Papers for you.” he spoke softly. 

“I was just about to call Martyn and ask for those. Thanks dear.” She smiled as he handed them to her.

“Hi, I’m Phil.” He said, smiling lightly at him and lending and hand out to shake the other mans. 

He stood up and took it, smiling back, “I’m ga- I mean Dan. Hi.” he said, turning a bright shade of red and laughing at himself. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” Phil smiled and laughed, still holding his hand from shaking it. 

He let go, wiped his hand on his chest, “I um, I’ve got to go, I’ll see you around.” he backed out of the room, still looking at the smiling rosy boy, he bumped in the the door frame, laughed at himself and ran out.

Once he was clear of the room, he back into the wall and placed him hands on his face. “What the fuck Phil?” he whispered to himself, staring off into the floor and wondering what just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to know what song i was thinking of when i wrote dan playing the piano with cornelia look up "Like Someone In Love" by Milos Strevic :)


	3. Chapter 3

Phil never really had lots of work to do, it was his job to direct music videos and help with the creative aspects of things. Every once and awhile he’d have to approve artwork for CD covers or posters, or on odd days he’d have to make calls and arrange for things to be shot somewhere or call in professional help. Today however, was a nothing day.

He sat at his desk with his notebook out, drawing squiggles and lines until they ended up looking like a bunch of roses. They were his favorite flower. They’re beautiful, they symbolize love and depending on the color a handful of other things. They gave him hope every time he saw them, he knew one day he’d be in love again.

“Hey.” Martyn said, knocking lightly at Phil’s open door.

“Hi.” Phil replied, not looking up from his notebook.

“How did it go with Louise?” He asked, closing Phil’s door and taking a seat at his desk.

“It didn’t. I got distracted and left after I gave her the papers.” Phil explained, still looking down knowing Martyn would know something was up.

“Oh? By what?”

“No one, I mean nothing.” Phil spat out, he could feel his cheeks heating up.

“Did you meet someone else on your way up? I haven’t seen you this red and closed off since you brought Rose home the first time.” Martyn teased. 

“Don’t talk about her. I was also 17 back then.” Phil said with a defensive tone Martyn wasn’t used to.

“Okay.” He said, getting up. “I’ll just go. Come talk to me later when you want to tell me what’s up.” and with that Martyn left.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell his brother. It was that he didn’t know how. Martyn knew Phil slept around in college, it wasn’t a secret. He just didn’t know that some of the people he slept with were men. It was kind of Phil’s secret. 

He was called gay for his artwork and his love for movies most of his childhood, and to actually be kind of gay, it hurt him a lot. He didn’t need that in his life again. He didn’t need people to see him or know he’s been with men to give them an excuse to call him those names again. 

It was a tough time for him, growing up. But now that he’s 30, things are looking up. He has a good job, a nice apartment, many accolades to show for his hard work, and hopefully one day, he’ll have a lover again. 

He looked at his drawings once more. Roses. He let out a huff of air through his nose, calming down slightly. He remembered the cute boy from Louise’s office, he had nice dimples and rosy cheeks. He was kind of beautiful.

‘Your friend dan got the job. Thanks for suggesting him :)’ Phil texted PJ.

After a few more minutes of scribbling roses onto his notebook, PJ texted him back. ‘The boy’s really talented, and you’re welcome. Wanna grab a drink tonight?’

‘Did you even have to ask lol, i’m always up for a drink’

‘Friendly’s 10pm?’

‘See you there’

-

Friendly’s was a gay bar in Soho. it was a place Phil frequented, so often so that the bartender, Angelo, knew exactly what Phil ordered on what days. It was also far enough away from where he lived and worked that none of his other friends would see him there. 

PJ was out, and PJ always told Phil that if they were seen they could just be there because of him. He was kind to Phil. He always wanted him to feel safe and to only have to come out when he was ready. It wasn’t an easy thing to do, and he made sure Phil was comfortable.

PJ was also the first guy Phil slept with, and Phil was his first as well. They were roommates in college, they were best friends, and they wanted to know what gay sex was really like. They thought it was best to get it out of the way with each other. Phil swears it was possibly the best decision they ever had.

It was awkward at first, but they laughed and enjoyed it. It’s what a first time should be like. They had a mutual love and respect for each other that made it amazing. And it wasn’t the only time they did it together either. There was many times in their 4 years of school that they did it, and even now.

Drinks with PJ often ended up in sex. It was just something they did for fun, no strings attached. It was the best kind of friends with benefits situation, in Phil’s opinion. You see, Phil needed sex to fill a void of loneliness, and PJ was a horny aromantic who did who ever he could. It worked perfectly for them.

Friendly’s was everything Phil loved wrapped up into one place. The furniture was blue, the walls had weird patterns on them, there was house plants everywhere, fruity cocktails, and of course there was an abundance of cute men all over.   
“So have you met Dan yet?” PJ half yelled across the tabled to Phil to be heard over the music.

“Um, yeah I did. He’s adorable.” Phil said with complete confidence. 

PJ was the perfect friend that Phil never knew he needed until he had him. Somehow they were blessed enough to be roommate, Phil says it was like fate. They like the same movies and shows, they listen to the same music and they can talk to each other about anything. PJ completed Phil, and it really helped to have him after Rose left. 

“You should have seen him as a kid, he had curly blond hair and he was so sweet. He was such a good neighbor,” PJ smiled slightly, Dan has that effect on people. “I miss him, I haven’t seen him in forever.” 

“Yeah, I can imagine.” Phil replied, taking a sip from his drink that was imaginatively called Mr. Freeze seeing as it was a blue raspberry vodka slushie. 

“So how are you feeling?” PJ asked, like he normally did. Always wondering and caring about Phil.

“Sad and Gay. Like normal.” Phil jokingly replied with a giggle making his tongue stick out. 

“Wanna get out of here?” PJ asked.

“I’m surprised you even had to ask.”

~~~

Dan closed the door to his flat quietly. Pressed his back against it and slid down to the floor. A routine he developed after starting his hellish job at the pizza place. Tears trickled down his face, landing in a puddle on his grey shirt. 

They were happy tears. He was happy. He started laughing, wiping the tears from his chin and stood up. “Dodie?” He yelled down the hall.

She didn’t answer, instead he heard her little feet running from the bathroom and down to him in the living room. “HOW DID IT GO?” he scream loud enough for the whole building to hear.

He smiled lightly. “I um, I got it.” he said with a little nod, raising his shoulders and looking a little cheeky. 

“Awwww Daaaaaaaaaannn!” Dodie cheered and hugged him. She loved him like he was her family.

They hugged for a moment and then moved to the couch to chat like they did almost every day. She’s became his best friend, and if it wasn’t for his last job, he never would have met her. He was someone grateful that experience happened. 

“And guess who I’m working with?” Dan finally said. 

“Oh my god, who?” Dodie turned and jumped a little, beyond excited to hear all the details. 

“Cornelia.” Dan said in one cocky breath. Proud as hell of his new job. 

“Like the Swedish Grammy winner, Cornelia?” Dodie was almost taken aback by the information. 

“Yep.”

“Holy fuck Dan. Holy. Fuck!” Dodie cheered and they were hugging again. They hugged a lot.

-

Dan couldn’t sleep that night. His mind was racing with ideas and hopes and daydreams of what his life was going to be like. And one face kept showing up in it all. Phil, from the HR office. 

He was handsome. Not like the other guys dan had dated in the past, this guy was much like Dan was, physically. The same height, slim, skinny, beautiful. His skin was light, his eyes were bright and his hair was a magnificent shade of black that made everything about him look even more beautiful.

Dan rolled out of his bed and went right to his piano. He flicked on his small bear lamp and decided to write. He scribbled illegible words into his notebook and accompanied them with notes. Each one describing the beauty he saw in the man from his new job.

It might be a little weird to write a song based off someone he didn’t really know, but sometimes the best songs came from mystery. The what if’s of life, if you will. Would this guy just be another cute boy who passed through his life? A best friend? Nothing and nobody? It was unknown, but that was the fun part about love. 

The notes and the words flew out of him faster than they ever had before. He has a muse, he was finally feeling creative and happy for the first time in months, and he wasn’t the only one who noticed it. 

He woke up at 9am, his head placed on the piano, his back arched from being arched, and his stomach was rumbling. He walked out into the kitchen, still in his underwear, and looked for his cereal. 

“Who’s the song about?” he heard from the living room, it made him jump a little.

“What?” He finally answered back.

“The song. Who’s it about?” Dodie repeated herself.

“Oh, it’s just about my new job. I’m actually feeling really happy again.” Dan lied, although it wasn’t very believable.

“Well. when you’re ready to tell me about him, I’ll be here.” Dodie said before taking a sip of her tea.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a phil only chapter, and the next one will be a dan only chapter! now that the plots picking up i might stick to alternating povs in chapters :) hope you like it!

Phil woke up to PJ still naked and cuddled into him. He slowly reached to his night table and placed his glasses on his face, he looked around and saw his and PJ’s clothes all around his floor. A small smile grew across his face. It’s the best feeling in the world to wake up cuddled into someone, and to be instantly happy. 

“Hey, wake up.” Phil lightly tapped PJ’s shoulder, watching as his friend lightly blinked his eyes open to the light in Phil’s room.

“I have to get ready for work, you can stay if you want. Just lock up when you go.”Phil told him, and slowly began to make his way out of bed.

He showered, blow dried his hair, pushed it back the way he liked it, and put on an outfit that just screamed Phil. A button up shirt with pugs on it. He looked in the mirror one last time, shot a glance at PJ who was still asleep and then made his way to work.

Work was always his happy place. He said hello to Helen, she ran the front desk, he always thought she was very pretty, then he stopped in to say hello to his brother. Martyn was always on the phone in the mornings, answering calls and making appointments for his other clients. As much as he wanted to spend all his time and effort on Cornelia, he couldn’t. 

Phil then goes to see Cornelia. For once he gets to work with her, one on one, and be completely creative. He walks into his office, and there she is waiting for him, folders of concepts and outfit choices in hand, ready to get to work on the new single promotions. 

“So I was thinking, because its about new love, how about you’re in white, the bands in black and the background is red?” Phil suggests as he takes his seat. 

She just smiles at him, “I had the same idea.” 

-

For a few days they work on concepts, they pull different backdrops, different outfit choices, lay everything out on the floor in Phil’s office and pick and choose the different options that they feel will look good together. 

“So I have all the outfits hung over here,” Phil says, leading Cornelia to a rack in the corner of the room, “yours, Parkers, Cecelia's, and Mitch's.” Phil points out and smiles.

“Where’s Daniel’s?” Cornelia asks.

“Who?” Phil says, dumbfounded.

“Daniel? My new piano player, have you not met him yet?” Cornelia mentions, and Phil remembers. 

“I thought he was just the recording pianist? I didn’t know he was a band member now?” Phil spits out, almost nervous like.

He’s genuinely anxious about having to work with this Daniel person. He’s worked with pretty men and women in the past but he’s never experienced the awestruck feeling like when he met Dan. 

All the saliva in his mouth dried up, his tongue went numb, his stomach did this weird flippy over thing, and he couldn’t see anything but him. He was breathtaking. It was like he saw an angel, this pure and perfect being just standing in front of him and his body didn’t know how to react. 

“He’s amazing Phil! I think you’d really like him.” Cornelia said, completely innocently, but part of Phil freaked out thinking she knew.

“Why do you say that?” He nervously asked, turning away to go to his desk and do something to take his mind off the conversation.

“You just seem very similar, he’s told me about himself and I just think you’d be good friends. You need more friends.” Cornelia said, following him to his desk to look at more clothes.

“Well, I'm going to need him to come in to get his measurements so we can dress him. Is he coming in today?” Phil asked, already dreading it.

“No, but I’ll call him in.” 

-

Phil sat alone in his office, waiting for Dan, for what felt like forever. Cornelia had left, the concept pieces had been picked up, all that was left was a few items of clothing and some measuring tape. 

Phil had a list of everyone’s measurements so when they sent away for clothing he knew what sizes they needed, it wasn’t normally weird for him to do this, but he was so nervous to have to measure Dan. He’d have to get close to him, touch him, talk to him. The whole shabang. He was beyond scared. 

Then there came a knock at his door. Dan was standing in the doorway, his cute curly hair, his rosy patch redder than ever, and his little dimple cratered on his cheek. Phil couldn’t help but smile at the absolute beauty that was standing in his room. 

“Hello.” Dan said with a smile.

“Hi, come on in, but uh, close the door.” Phil tried to be cool, but he felt himself failing as his cheeks filled with a deep red blush. “Some people don’t like having people walk by while they get fitted.” he explained himself.

“Do you do this often?” Dan asked, he sounded just as nervous.

“I do this every once and awhile for all the artists and the bands,” Phil spoke while fumbling with the measuring tape on his desk. “Some people change weight, the younger ones grow, last year someone was pregnant so I had to measure her all the time. It’s easier to not have to do it every time we need new clothing though.” 

Dan nodded, his lips pressed together and his dimple had shown up again. When he listened, he listened intensely. He stared into Phil’s eyes and took every word in. Phil hadn’t had someone pay so much attention to him in a long time. He felt important.

“Can you stand in the middle of the room here with your arms out?” Phil directs him to the spot he wants him in, lightly touching his arm. Scared to make contact but pushing through the nerves. 

“Okay.” Dan says, Phil can hear him swallow, and see’s the lump in his throat move. He’s nervous too. Phil wonders if it’s for the same reasons, or if he’s just a nervous person. 

Dan raises his arms, his shirt goes up a little with them and Phil can see some skin. He feels hot, he doesn’t want to mess up and do something he’ll regret. Part of him thinks this would be easier if he wasn’t secretly gay. If he was proud of who he is it would be different. If he didn’t think everyone would hate him, he would be out, and if he was out, he’d be less nervous to do his damn job with a pretty boy in the room. But he wasn’t.

Before he takes the measurements, he makes sure his notebook is open to the spot he wants so he can record them. Flipping past the roses, and smiling a little. This was as easy as drawing one of his roses. Dan was one of his roses. 

Phil reaches around Dan and gets all the measurements he needs, trying to push the thoughts of ‘wow he smells nice’ and ‘he’s warm’ out of his mind so it’s over faster. 

“Are there any fabrics or things you’re not going to be comfortable in?” Phil asked, it wasn’t uncommon for people to hate certain things or to even be allergic to different fabrics. 

“Um, nope.” Dan said, shaking his head. “Um, is that all you needed?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah. Yeah that’s it. Thanks for coming in.” Phil said with a smile. 

“No problem. Do you want my number in case you need anything else?” Dan half mumbled, the rosy patch on his face getting brighter as he spoke. 

Phil smiled, he didn’t really need his number, and Dan probably knew that. “Yeah. I’d love your number!” Phil said. He reached for his notebook and flipped over to his rose drawings, “Put it here, I don’t have my phone on me right now, Cornelia took it to my brother to show him something.” 

Dan took the pen from Phil’s desk and sloppily write his name and number down. “These are beautiful. I’ve always loved roses.” 

“Thank you. Roses are some of the most beautiful things I’ve seen in my life.” Phil said with a cheeky smile, hopefully Dan would get the hint that he was one of the beautiful things he’d seen.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut warning!! enjoy!

Dan’s last boyfriend started out as a saint, but slowly transformed into a total dick. It was the case with most of Dan’s previous relationships. He was there when Dan moved to London, he was there when Dan lost his job, but he was gone when Dan started to feel depressed about his life. 

When he left he said he “couldn’t be his boyfriend and his therapist anymore.” It really hurt Dan. But he had Dodie, and she always knew what to do to make him happy. One of her ideas was to go out to a bar, pick up the first stranger who laid eyes on him, and try to feel happy if even just for a moment. And it worked.

It wasn’t like he was hooking up with people all the time, just when he felt like he needed something more in his life than the constant feeling of being alone and hating his life. But since he started working with Cornelia, he hasn’t needed to do that. He’s been writing more, smiling more, sleeping better. He felt like a new person. And the fact that he gets to see the cute art director a lot makes his life a little bit brighter as well. Phil’s nice, and cute, but he’s so far deep in his closet that Dan doesn’t see it ever working. There’s no point in trying to be with someone who doesn’t want to be who they are. 

Dodie knows there’s someone new in his life. She knows that something is different, and she wont stop trying to pry it from Dan’s locked lips. For the last month that Dan has been going to the studio and came home with a smile on his face, causing Dodie to try her hardest to learn who the mystery man was. Finally Dan gave in. 

“His name is Phil. He owns half the company, he’s the art director and I’m pretty sure he’s in the closet with no plans of leaving.” Dan said into the open air of their lounge. 

“I’m sorry.” Dodie said with an empathetic tone in her voice, which Dan had heard too often. 

“It’s okay. I still like flirting with him at work. But we have a shoot tomorrow so he’ll probably be really closed off around everyone else.” Dan spoke softly. A little disappointed.

“You remember how hard coming out was. Some people don’t come out till they need to. Some people never come out cause they can’t. But that doesn’t mean that this Phil guy will always be in the closet.” Dodie reassured him.

Dan did know what it was like to come out... Rather, he knew what it was like to be outed. And with that thought alone, he thought he’d leave Phil alone for a while. He thought that maybe he’d let the man come to him instead, because if he did, maybe he’d be ready them. 

“Want to go to a bar and pick up strangers and forget our troubles?” Dan asked with a smirk. 

“Dibs on bringing someone here, you’ll have to go somewhere else.” She replied.

“Why can’t we both come home with people?” Dan asked, it worked out fine in the past.

“You’re so loud it kills my mood.” Dodie said with a laugh, Dan could feel his whole face turns red. 

“Fuck, really?” he asked, beyond embarrassed.

“Yes. now go get ready, I want to leave soon!”

-

Friendly’s was their favorite place to go together. Dan went for the men, and Dodie went for whoever she felt like that night, it was the best place for them. They had gone there together more times than they could count, and planned on going there forever more. 

“So, see anyone you like?” Dodie yelled over the music before taking a shot.

“Not yet.” Dan yelled back. He wasn’t really into the getting drunk part, he liked to be a little sober when he hooked up with people as he could enjoy it more.

They sat at the bar talking to each other for a while, yelling the words to the songs that they knew at each other and laughing. Dan felt good, he was starting to feel confident, and he wanted to start looking for someone. He grabbed Dodie by the arm and dragged her to the dance floor so they could get a better look at everyone. 

Dodie pulled him down a little so she could get close to his ear, “What about him? He’s cute.” she said, pointing to the couches in the corner of the room.

“Holy fuck.” Dan said.

“I know! He’s so hot!” Dodie replied, smacking his arm lightly as if to say ‘go get ‘em’ 

Dan just shook his head. The guy she was pointing to was his old friend PJ and surprisingly, Phil was with him. 

“No, no, no, I know them. That’s PJ and Phil!” Dan spoke into her ear so she’d hear him properly. 

“Like closet Phil from work?” Dodie said, shocked and rightly so. 

Dan didn’t know what to do. Did he pretend he never saw him to avoid the awkward conversation, or did he go over and say hi? Either way it would result in him knowing Phil’s secret. Which he already had a vague idea of, but knowing the truth made it so much worse. 

“Come say hi with me.” Dan said. The rare act of confidence threw Dodie off a little, but she followed him over.

Dan watched as Phil noticed him approaching. His face went from laughing at something PJ said to pure panic, Dan felt sort of terrible. 

“Hi.” Dan awkwardly said. 

“Dan mate how are you!” PJ yelled before wrapping his arms around Dan.

“I’m good how have you been?” Dan asked, hugging him back. 

“Amazing! You know Phil from work right?” He gestured to Phil, who was still paler than ever, looking completely scared out of his mind.

“Yeah, hi how are you?” Dan played it cool. 

“I ugh, I’m good.” Phil stuttered out.

“This is Dodie by the way, Dodie this is PJ and Phil.”

Dodie and PJ start talking about how they both met Dan, who just stood there awkwardly looking at Phil, who’s also looking awkwardly at him. After a few minutes Dan moves to talk to Phil, he sits next to him on the large blue-ish couch. 

“I’m sorry if I’ve made things awkward.” Dan says. Knowing Phil doesn’t want to explain why he’s there or who he is.

“It’s alright. I knew someone would find me here, with the amount of time I’m here and all.” Phil said with a small smile. Trying to mask the part of him that wishes no one saw him there at all. 

“I won’t tell anyone I saw you here. You don’t have to worry about me. I was outed when I was a kid and I never want someone to go through that.” Dan spoke, he tried to be as honest and genuine as possible to make Phil feel safe. 

“Thank you. I appreciate it.” Phil said, a real smile growing on his face.

PJ and Dodie somehow made their way to the dance floor, they hit it off pretty well. PJ was always the kind of guy anyone could be friends with, no wonder he got on well with Dodie. 

“I’ve never come out to anyone but PJ.” Phil finally speaks after a few minutes of them not talking, only staring at the dance floor. “But uh, I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual, although I really wish labels weren’t a thing.” 

Dan can’t help but smile and hug Phil. “that’s a big thing you just did and I’m really happy for you.” Dan says into his ear, still hugging him.

“It feels good to tell someone. Thank you.” Phil says, rubbing a hand on Dan’s back as he lets go of the hug.

“I’m bi as well, although I’m more gay than straight.” Dan admits, laughing a little. “So uh, how long have you and Peej been a thing?” Dan asks, hoping to god that they aren’t.

“Oh god no! He’s just my old college roommate.” Phil looks horrified that Dan thought they were a thing.

“Old college roommates eh?” Dan says, nugging Phil with his elbow a little.

“Yes, you’re not wrong but we aren’t a couple so don’t worry. You still have your chance.” Phil says with a cheeky smirk. 

“No thanks. PJ is not my type.” Dan’s face turns to pure distaste at the thought of being with PJ. they were practically like brothers growing up. 

“I meant with me but at least now I know I don’t have competition.” Phil says before taking a sip of his drink. 

Dan can physically feel his face heat up and his stomach turn. When he left for the bar he did not think that he’d be flirting with the guy he was supposed to be taking his mind off of. But here he was, smiling and giggling with the cute man he’s known for a short amount of time, their knees occasionally touching, and all he wants is to take him home. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” Dan asks, out of the blue. 

“More than you know.” Phil says, taking Dan’s hand and standing up.

“I just have to say by to-” Dan says, taking a look around for Dodie, who’s nowhere to be found.

He takes out his phone to see a text from her.

‘Gone home with PJ, the house is all yours.’

“Well. Our friends seem to have the same idea.” Dan jokes before showing Phil the message. 

“Oh, well, to yours then.” Phil says, laying a hand on Dan’s lower back and following him to the door.

Phil hails down a taxi, they climb in and Dan give him the address. From the corner of his eye he see’s Phil pull out his phone and start typing something down before tapping Dan’s knee and showing him it. 

‘I’m not much for PDA but just know it’s taking everything in me not to pull you in and kiss you senseless.’

“You’re cute.” Dan whispers into Phil’s ear before placing his hand on Phil’s thigh. Smiling to himself a little as he can’t believe this is happening.

Luckily for them the ride is short, Phil pays and they walk up to Dan’s apartment. Once Dan’s opened the door and walked in, he’s being pressed against the wall while the door to his flat is pushed shut. 

Sure, he’s a little startled, but he’s more than turned on. Phil presses himself up close to Dan, laying his hands on either side of Dan’s face. “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to touch your soft skin and kiss your beautiful lips. You are possibly the most beautiful person I have ever see in my whole life.” Phil says before kissing him.

The first kiss takes Dan’s breath away. It’s long and soft and possibly everything he’d been missing in his life. Then he starts to kiss him more, picking up the speed and roaming his hands down Dan’s body. 

Dan pulls away for a moment, he places his forehead against Phil’s and breaths for a moment, “bedroom.” is the only word he can make out.

He grips Phil’s wrist and drags him down the hall, turning on his light but dimming it way down. He stands in the middle of his room and beckons Phil closer. Resuming the kiss where it left off. Hot and heavy, tongue clashing, breath heavy, hands roaming, desperate for attention. 

Slowly Phil starts to reach under Dan’s shirt. He can feel Phil's hands on his hips, they’re slightly cold but it’s a good contrast to his own body heat. Phil pulls away long enough to pull the shirt over Dan’s head and starts to kiss his way down Dan’s neck. 

“No marks, we have a photoshoot tomorrow remember.” Dan pants, reminding Phil. 

“The makeup artist is really good at her job.” Phil says before sucking a deep purple mark into his skin. 

Dan’s hands have found their way to the back of Phil’s shirt, grabbing balls of it in his hands as the pleasure on his neck intensifies. 

Without warning, Phil picks him up and places him on the bed, climbing over him and kissing down his chest. Phil takes off his own shirt, throwing it at the floor and moving to undo Dan’s pants. 

“You’re still okay with this?” Phil asks, it’s cute.

Dan just smiles and nods, “yeah, please continue.” 

With that, Phil pulls his pants and underwear down in one go, Dan lifts his bum off the mattress enough to help them come off, and they too are thrown on the floor. Phil settle onto his knees, still in between Dan’s legs. 

He unbuttons his jeans, Dan watches in anticipation, licking his lips at the thought of what Phil’s cock would look like before it’s pulled out in front of him, his mouth hangs open slightly and an inaudible noise escapes his throat. 

“Fuck.” is all he can say before he flips Phil over and rips his pants off him. He kisses Phil a few more times on the mouth before working his way down. 

He lays kisses down Phil’s torso, looking up at him seductively with each one. He avoids his cock for a moment, kissing around his abdomen and watching as Phil squirms in anticipation. Finally, Dan licks a stripe up his cock. A low groan escapes Phil’s mouth and Dan swears he’s never been more turned on in his whole life. 

He takes Phil’s tip in his mouth, circling his tongue around the tip before taking more in his mouth. He’s never had a man of this size in him before, so he doesn’t know how far he can take it but tries to take as much as he can, pumping what he cant fit with his hand. He bobs his head for a minute, stocking as he goes and making sure to swirl his tongue around the head as he comes up each time. 

“Stop.” Phil says in a broken moan and Dan pulls off.

“Are you okay?” he asks, concerned and slightly disappointed. 

“I want you to fuck me and I want to last.” Phil admits in a pant, clearly almost near the edge. 

“You want me, to fuck you?” Dan asks, surprised. 

“Yeah? Have you never topped before?” Phil asks, pulling dan up and kissing his cheek.

“I have but I just figured you’d want to” Dan says. He thought that Phil’s dominance meant he was a top, but clearly, he wasn’t.

“No. I want you to fuck me. Where do you keep the lube and condoms?” Phil asked, face buried in Dan’s neck and kissing it again. 

“Here.” Dan said with a groan as he reached over into his bedside table and pulled them out. He laid them on the bed and was immediately rolled over onto his back. 

Phil opened the lube and applied a generous amount to his own fingers before straddling Dan and reaching behind himself. He clearly liked to be in control, and Dan was so unbelievably turned on by that. 

Phil used his other hand to stroke Dan and lent down to kiss him some more. He dragged his tongue across Dan’s bottom lip and moaned as he opened up, letting him in. It was hotter than Dan ever dreamed it would be, every single touch was more magical than the other, he thought he was actually dreaming. 

Phil pulled back, sitting up more and grabbing the condom from the bed. He ripped it open and rolled it onto Dan. He poured more lube onto Dan and hovered himself over Dan’s dick.

Dan bit his lip in anticipation. It was genuinely the hottest thing that he’d ever seen in his whole life. He felt Phil line him up with his hole, his grip tight on Dan’s cock, teasing it around his entrance and driving Dan wild. 

Phil finally slid down onto him, as slowly as he could until he bottomed out. Dan could have cum right then and there from the immense pleasure and the unforgettable sight of Phil moaning as he took him in. 

Phil started to rock his hips a little, Dan placed his hands on Phil’s sides and slid them down to his hips, helping him ride. Phil lent down and started to kiss Dan again, still riding him, he grabbed both Dan’s hands and interlocked their fingers, bringing their hands above Dan’s head and lying their chests together. 

It was more amazing than any experience Dan had ever had in his whole entire life. The feeling of Phil on top of him, and the feeling of himself inside of Phil was wonderful. Amazing. Breathtaking. He never wanted it to end. 

“Fuck i’m close.” Phil whispered, hot and raspy into Dans neck before sucking more marks into him. 

“Same, fuck.” Dan moaned, he was in heaven.

He bucked up, hitting what was most likely Phil’s prostate as it caused Phil to shudder and make the sexiest and somehow cutest noise dan had ever heard. He hit it a few more times and it left Phil panting, grinding down harder for more contact until Dan felt him clench around him. 

Phil was cumming with a sting of moans and Dan’s name leaving his mouth. His cum shot up their stomachs, it was getting smeared between their chests that were still pressed together. Phil’s tightness and erratic rhythm sent Dan over the edge, cumming into the condom and moaning Phil’s name in a pitch he never knew his voice could hit. 

Phil pulled himself off Dan just enough for his softening cock to be free before lying on top of him and peppering kisses to Dan’s face. “Thank you.” he said between kisses.

Dan couldn’t stop smiling, a small giggle slipped out of his mouth. He was the happiest he’d been in a long while.


	6. Chapter 6

Phil stayed pressed against Dan’s chest trying to catch his breath for a few minutes. Dan was soft and warm and wonderful, Phil really didn’t want to get up. But he needed to clean the sticky mess he made from between them.

“Where’s your bathroom? I’m going to get a cloth to clean this up.” Phil said, sitting up and climbing off Dan. 

“It’s to the left of my door, the facecloths are in the second drawer of the cabinet.” Dan said, his eyes closed and his chest still rising and falling rapidly. 

Phil stumbled out of the room, turning left and almost walking into the bathroom door. He found the cabinet Dan was talking about and grabbed a random white cloth. He ran it under some warm water, rung it out and returned to Dan. 

“Here.” Phil said before running the cloth over Dan’s stomach and cleaning the mess off of him. He did the same to himself before throwing the cloth into Dan’s laundry bin in the corner of the room and rejoining Dan on the bed. 

Phil reached down to the end of Dan’s bed and pulled up the duvet cover that had been thrown in the midst of the fun. He made sure both himself and Dan were covered before getting comfortable on his back and pulling Dan in. 

“I’m really glad we did that. And I’m really glad you want to stay and not leave now that it’s over.” Dan said, rolling over and placing his head on Phil’s shoulder. 

“I like to cuddle and you’re perfect for cuddling.” Phil said, wrapping his arms around Dan and pulling him in more. 

It was sort of unbelievable for him that the cute boy he’d been pining over for a few weeks was now wrapped up in his arms. Phil ran his thumb over Dan’s shoulder, soothing the both of them and took a deep breath. He felt more comfortable and safe that he had in a long time. 

“Nobody at work knows. And I don’t know when I want to tell them, so I really hope you don’t mind keeping this a secret.” Phil said in a hushed tone. 

“You don’t have to worry about me telling anyone about this. This is our thing and it’s more special if it’s just between us.” Dan said, running his fingers along Phil’s chest, sending shivers up his body.

“Would you like to do this again sometime?” Phil asked.

“I’d love to, but right now lets get some sleep. We have work tomorrow.” Dan suggested, Phil could feel dan’s smile pressed against his chest. 

“Goodnight.” Phil whispered into Dan’s hair before kissing his head. 

-

Phil rolled over onto his left side, he reached his arm out and cuddled into Dan. He was still half asleep but he smiled knowing that he was sleeping with Dan. He ran his hand down Dan’s back gently, wanting to feel his soft skin but not wanting to wake him up. He cuddled into Dan’s back a little more, spooning him. 

Somewhere in the room Phil heard an alarm going off, piano music was playing from Dan’s pants on the floor on the other side of the room. He felt Dan move ever so slightly and then groan. Clearly not wanting to wake up. 

“What time was that set for?” Phil asked, voice still groggy. 

“Five. And there’s another one set for six and seven incase I don't get up.” Dan said, backing up into Phil and getting little more comfortable.

“Okay so we have an hour or more to cuddle. I like how you think.” Phil said, snuggling into Dan a little more and placing his head in the crook of Dan’s neck, looking over at his cute morning face. 

“I’ve never had a guy I picked up from a bar who wanted to snuggle.” Dan joked.

“I’m not like the rest of the guys from the bar.” Phil replied before kissing Dan’s cheek.

“Are you going to pretend you hate me at work?” Dan asked. He sounded sad.

“No.” Phil said, wrapping his arms tighter around Dan. “I’d never be able to do that. I want us to be friends at work. But if you’re not comfortable with my secret I understand.”

Phil felt Dan take a deep breath in. He was genuinely worried about how this would all work out with Dan. More than anything, Phil felt like he was ready for a relationship, and he really felt like a relationship with Dan might be amazing. But friends was a good place to start. 

“I’d love you be your friend and get to know you more.” Dan spoke softly and slowly rolled onto his back. 

His eyes were a beautiful deep chocolate that Phil felt himself drowning in. his morning face was a lot cuter than the way his face normally was. His under eyes and his bottom lip were puffy, his hair was a mess, a tiny amount of stubble on his upper lip appeared, he was just plain stunning. 

“What?” Dan asked.

“You’re cute.” Phil said with a soft smile.

Dan blushed, and Phil felt his heart flutter a little. It felt good to be intimate with someone, but it felt better to just lie naked with someone and appreciate them. He took it all in, not knowing when it would happen to him again.

“Do you have a shirt I could borrow today?” Phil changed the topic, not wanting to get too caught up in Dan. “preferably in color?” he joked seeing as Dan had worn black every time he’s seen him.

“I have a blue shirt with hearts on it that my mom gave me, I hate it so you can have it if you like it.” Dan told him before getting out of bed.

His but was cute. Phil found himself staring at it as he crossed the room to his closet. He has freckles on it and his back. He stood on his tiptoes to reach into the back of his closet and his back dimples became more visible. Phil almost died when he saw them. How was everything about this man so darn cute?

He walked over and placed the shirt on the bed, “I’m going to shower, you can join me if you want but we really have to leave soon.” Dan said with a laugh.

“It’s okay, you go get pretty for the shoot and I’ll just wait here.” Phil said.

He got up from the bed and went to grab his phone from his front pants pocket. He sat back down on the edge of the bed and started to look through his messages, not realising that Dan had left the room. 

‘Hey, i popped into your flat last night but you weren’t home? I hope you had fun doing whatever and i’ll see you at work tomorrow.’ a message from his brother read. Giving him keys was a mistake, he always walks in whenever her wants, thank god he didn’t come in when Phil had boys over.

‘I think I have a music video idea, I’ll tell you about it tomorrow!! -C” he could always count on Cornelia’s late night brainstorms for new content.

‘Hope you’re having fun with Dan, sorry i disappeared with his friend on you lol text me later!’ PJ was his last message, it was really no surprise the horny bastard went home with Dodie. 

In the few minutes of replying to people, Dan had finished his shower and was back in the room. Hair soaked, body glistening with water droplets and a towel draped over his waist. He felt like an idiot for joining Dan in the shower now.

-

The drive to work was simple and short. Phil learned that Dan wasn’t really a talker when in the car, he liked to listen to music and look out the window. While Phil on the other hand couldn’t really do anything in the car but try and not be sick. 

They walked in silence to Phil’s office once they got there. Phil didn’t know what to say or how to act around him at work now. He desperately wants to be able to be himself with Dan, but how far can he go without people here questioning them. 

Part of him says fuck it, let them think what they want while another part of him wants to completely close off and pretend they aren’t friends. But he can’t do that. There’s something about Dan that makes him want to talk to him and hold him and even kiss him forever. He’s special, and different, and Phil needs that in his life.

The part of him that says fuck it won. As soon as they were in his office and Phil knew no one was around for the moment, he kissed Dan on the cheek.

“What was that for?” Dan asked, his rosy smile making a reappearance. 

“Cause you’re cute and I wanted to get one last kiss in before we get to work.” Phil said back with an equally flirtatious smile on his face. 

“Well I have to go to makeup now.” Dan said, stopping to kiss Phil’s cheek, “I’ll see you later.” and he walked out. 

Phil smiled to himself, it had been a long while since he felt happy from another person's actions. Sure he was always hooking up with PJ but he was a friend, he never made his heart flutter when he kissed him. Dan did however. Dan made his heart flutter like there was a million and one butterflies trapped in there, trying to escape but they couldn’t. It’s wonderful, he’s wonderful. 

-

“Guy’s you’re doing great just keep looking at the camera!” The photographer yelled, encouraging them. 

Phil sat in the corner watching his vision for the album art become a reality. It was quite plain, just a basic red backdrop, Cornelia was in all white while the band was in all back. They looked amazing. All 5 of them were lying on the ground heads touching and looking up at a camera. 

It was dramatic and simple at the same time. 

“Okay we’re going to take five.” the photographer was getting sort of fed up. Not with the shot but with one of the band members. 

Dan walked over to Phil in the corner, a sad look on his face. He wasn’t feeling it and Phil could tell. 

“Walk with me.”Phil said, placing a hand on Dan’s shoulder and leading him from the room. 

Phil took them down the hall towards a door with a staff only sign on it. He swiped his passcode and held the door open for Dan to walk in. the room was full of old props from old shoots, random outfits, wigs, you name it. 

“What’s wrong.” Phil asked, leaning against a box and looking at Dan with a soft and caring look.

“I met the band for the first time today and they’re all so pretty and I’m a potato.” Dan said, “all of them just know what they’re doing and they know they look good but I just feel like a sack of shit today.”

“They’ve done shoots before, and all of them started out feeling like this. They didn’t just start out confident. They grew into it with time and you will too.” Phil assured him.

He grabbed Dan’s hand and pulled him forward into a hug. “And for the record I think you look hot as fuck.”He whispered into Dan’s ear before kissing his neck.

“The makeup artist already had a hell of a time covering the bruises up, don’t make anymore.” Dan said, while moving his head so Phil had more room to kiss him. 

“Look at you.” Phil said, running his hands down Dan’s chest and stopping at his waist. “You’re beautiful, now go out there and put on a show for me.” 

It was the kick in the ass that Dan needed to finish the shoot, and Phil meant every word. Dan walked back into the room with more confidence than before, and everyone notices. 

“What did you say to him?” Cornelia asked. 

“I showed him everyone else’s first shoots and said he would get better with time. And that he just needs to think confident and he’ll be confident.” Phil lied. 

“Well thank you.” Cornelia said, patting Phil shoulder and returning to the shoot. 

-

“That’s a wrap!” the photographer announced. Everyone cheered and clapped at the finished product. 

Phil watched as the other band members complimented Dan as they looked through the shots on the computer. 

“God, i wish my hair naturally curled like that! You’re literally beautiful!” Parker, the drummer, said, running her hand through Dan’s hair. 

He giggled and thanked her, Phil smiled watching them all fall in love with him. 

Mitch, their bass player, was telling Dan he’s never seen someone look so good in ripped jeans, adding that his thighs were “magnificent.” Phil felt his blood start to boil a little. 

He wasn’t Dan’s boyfriend, they’d only really been talking for a few weeks, but still, he was feeling possessive over Dan. So he did what anyone would do, he went over there and started complimenting Dan as well. 

Lily, the guitarist, was currently mumbling about Dan’s dimple when Phil got there, he slid his hand against Dan’s lower back to let him know he was there. “You really do look great Dan. I think you’re just what the band needed.” 

Dan smiled, “thanks Phil.” 

From the corner of his eye he saw Martyn and Cornelia talking while looking at them. He removed his hand from Dan’s back and moved away. “So the designer said you can all keep your outfits, so you’re free to go whenever you want! Thanks for an amazing shoot everyone!!” Phil said.

Martyn and Cornelia left the room, followed by the other band members, and finally Phil walked out of the room with Dan. “come with me to my office?” Phil asked. Dan just smiled and nodded his head in agreeance, following Phil to his room.


	7. Chapter 7

It wasn’t unusual for Dan to feel down and under confident in himself, but it was unusual for him to become so trusting in a person so fast. There was something in Phil that made him safe and sure, like he’s known him forever and could rely on him for anything. It was a nice change in his life.

He was so used to just having Dodie for support, and now he has a new friend. But friend is a loose word. Was Phil just a friend? Dan wasn’t going to ask. He was going to wait and see, just go along with all the kisses and cuddles and compliments and see where it takes them. 

It had been a couple weeks since they had sex, and in those weeks they had hung out almost every day, whether it was at work or after at one of their flats. When they were at work they just sat together in Phil’s office talking about life and getting to know one another, occasionally someone would come in and join them. 

Martyn and Cornelia liked to come see Phil when they weren’t doing work, and that meant that they were also hanging out with Dan now too. Cornelia had mentioned that she thought Dan and Phil would be good friends, and she was so happy she was right. If only she knew how close they really were. 

But Dan’s favorite place to be with Phil was back at Phil’s flat. The two of them cuddled up on Phil’s couch, a movie they were half interested in playing in the background while they talked and occasionally kissed.

“You don't have to answer this but, I really wanted to ask why you haven’t come out yet?” Dan asked, he was anxious to ask but he felt like Phil trusted him.

“I um,” Phil started, licking his lips and looking away for a minute. 

Dan could feel the tension. He was cuddled into Phil’s side, they were slouched in the corner but raised up enough that Dan could look Phil in the face while he spoke. 

“When I was in school I was very arty. I loved to draw and sketch things, I often just sat in the library looking at comics and trying to create my own little stories. And I didn’t have a lot of friends. The kids at school knew I was different, I was always imagining things and daydreaming and for some reason they thought I was gay because of it.” Phil explained. Dan could hear the hurt in his voice. “When I was thirteen they started to call me Faggot-y Phil. and that name stuck around until I finished school.” 

“I’m so sorry! Why are kids so fucking terrible?” Dan said, all he wanted to do was hug him and love him but he knew that it wouldn’t change the past. 

“The worst thing though, I never got to be in the same school as my brother cause he’s five years older than me, but there were kids my age with older siblings who told my brother about the nickname. He’d pull it out and use it on me when we had little fights or I was annoying him. So that’s why I haven’t come out to him. I don’t want him to do that again, I mean I know he never would seeing as a lot of his friends are gay and Cornelia is pan for fucks sake, but like, it still hurts me that it happened.”

“For what it’s worth however, I think you’re wonderful and amazing and if he doesn’t support you know that I always will.” Dan said with a soft smile.

“I’m really glad I met you.” Phil said before laying a kiss on Dan’s forehead.

Dan snuggled back into Phil’s neck, his hand resting on Phil’s chest and Phil’s hand was running up and down his back softly. “Do you want to be more than friends?” Dan asked.

“Like boyfriends?” Phil asked in a tone of confusion.

“Yeah I mean if you want to be my boyfriend that would be really cool cause like I’d really like to be yours but if you don’t want to that’s also okay but-” 

“I’d love to be your boyfriend you spoon.” Phil cut Dan’s ramble off. 

Dan smiled and sat up before throwing a leg over Phil and straddling him. “Is it okay if I make out with my boyfriend for a little?” he asked, looking down into Phil’s marvelous blue eyes.

“It would be more than okay.” Phil said before pulling Dan’s face down and kissing him.

-

Dan woke up to sunlight and birds chirping in his own room. He really didn’t want to go home last night but Phil said Martyn would be over the next morning, so he had to go. It was so nice to cuddle and kiss Phil, who wasn’t just Phil to him anymore, he was his boyfriend.

Boyfriend. 

That word made Dan smile. Phil wasn’t going to be like the rest of the boy’s Dan had dated in the past. Phil wasn’t going to pretend to date him to learn that he was gay and tell all of 6th form. Phil wasn’t going to pressure him into doing something he wasn’t ready for. Phil wasn’t going to make fun of him for his anxieties and call him ‘too much to handle.’ 

He wouldn’t do any of that, Phil was already so different. He is good and soft and kind. He is caring and understanding. He has his own struggles and insecurities but he also knows how to help Dan with his. He’s possibly the best person for Dan. 

Three short knocks on Dan’s door disrupted his thoughts about Phil, “come in” Dan said, voice thick as it was the first time he’d spoken in awhile.

The door opened a crack and stayed open for a second before Dodie emerged with 2 giant cups of tea in her little hands, “Good morning love, I made you some tea.” 

She sat on the edge of Dan’s bed and handed him the cup. “Come in and get comfortable” Dan said, patting the bed beside him. 

Dodie slide herself under Dan’s massive grey duvet cover and brought her knees up to her chest, that’s how Dan knew she was comfortable. “What’s up?” 

“Nothing. I was trying to write a new song but I gave up.” She sighed before taking a sip of her tea. “How’s Phil?”

Dan took a few seconds to smile. “Oh you mean my boyfriend, Phil?” Dan said with a smirk. He hadn’t told her what happened the night before.

“Awwww Dan! I’m so happy for you guys! He seems really wonderful!” Dodie was ecstatic about the news. 

-

Dan’s phone started to ring, waking him up. The photo of Phil showing he was calling lit up Dan’s face in the morning darkness. “Hello” he said in a groggy voice.

“Hey, this is really last minute but i’m leaving for Scotland with Martyn and Cornelia to film the music video, this week is the only time available for the location, so I just wanted to call and say bye and i’ll miss you for the next week.” Phil said in a whispered hurry.

“Oh. okay. I’ll miss you too” Dan said, the sadness clearly heard down the line. 

“I’ve got to go now, i’ll text you when i get there, bye, love you.” Phil said before hanging up. 

If he wasn’t awake before he sure was now. Phil said i love you. Or was Dan dreaming? Maybe it’s a reflex when hanging up, or maybe he meant it. Either way, Dan can’t calm down, cause holy shit he feels it too.


	8. Chapter 8

The whole idea of the video was that Cornelia was a Princess, rescuing her own Princess. Cornelia herself wanted this video to be about love, seeing as the song is, but not the typical heterosexual shit everyone sees, but something different. So they rented a castle for a week and began to shoot the most intense thing Phil has ever directed in his life. 

While getting to know Dan, Phil had met another man called Daniel through Dodie. He was also into concept art and design, so Phil ran the song past him and asked what he envisioned for a music video. Daniel said he imagined a princess trapped in her castle, her library filled with romance novels, wondering when her prince will come. A person in armor finally approaches to save her, she gets to know them without seeing their face, only to see that it’s another woman who she’s been falling in love with. They eventually return to the knights kingdom where they reside in a small cabin and live happily ever after. 

After that, Phil was sold. He invited Daniel to help him create the story and now the two of them were sat side by side in an aeroplane on the way to shoot his idea. 

Cornelia was so excited when she heard the idea. She dreamed of creating a video where the character’s just fall in love. Where gender and sexuality aren’t the deciding factor. She wants the character to just be in love. 

This idea was also making Phil extremely happy. For once he was directing something gay. He was allowing himself to fully focus his creativity completely on something featuring a homosexual couple and he was proud and supported. This was a big step for him. Instead of sitting back and wishing he was working on gay films and being proud of who he is, he actually is working on something he is passionate about and being fully happy with who he is. 

If it wasn’t for Dan, he might be at home right now, looking for a pointless hook up and waiting for Cornelia to write a song. But thanks to Dan, he’s happy and and he’s in love again. He never thought he’d be here again. 

Rose ruined him for so long. It’s been 10 years now, and he’s finally happy again. Not that fake happy where he’d shoot a smile at Martyn and ‘promise’ he was okay. He was the kind of happy where he can’t stop smiling and thinking about Dan. and he’s in love. After not being able to love anyone or get into anything serious in a long time, he’s not willing to waste time with Dan right now. He’s going to tell him he loves him and never stop. 

The plane landed, everyone got their luggage and headed to the hotel. Martyn and Cornelia were sat close in the car ride over, giggling and talking about what they could do while not filming this week. Phil sat in the front texting Dan.

To Dan: I’m here, sorry if me saying love you freaked you out earlier lol but I meant it.

He waited for a response. Checking his phone every few seconds which everyone caught on to as they were driving in the dark and his screen was the only thing illuminating the car. “Phil, man. Whoever they are, they’ll text you when they can. Till then stop blinding us.” Martyn spoke from behind him. 

“Fuck off.” Phil replied, swearing wasn’t something he normally did so Martyn got the hint. 

From Dan: glad you’re safe. and i love you too <3

He read the text, locked his phone and held it against his chest. He couldn’t stop smiling. 

He turned to look at his brother. “They texted back, happy now?” 

“Not as happy as you are. Who is she?” Martyn asked.

“You’ll know if it works out. Till then mind your own business bro.” Phil said with a cheeky smile. 

At the hotel, Phil checks into his room, throws his bag down and face dives into the mattress. It’s not long before he gets a knock at the door.

“Hey.” Cornelia says once the door is open. “I need to talk to you.” 

“Okay.”

She walks into his room and sits on the edge of his bed. “I know. I didn’t mean to be nosy but while martyn was looking out the window I was staring at you and I saw the name on the text notification.”

Phil’s heart sank. He felt like puking. His hands were sweaty. His mouth hung open. He didn’t know what to do. 

“I’ve had an inkling that you might be bi, but I’ve never said anything cause I wouldn’t have wanted anyone peering into my personal life, but just know if you want to talk I’m here and I won’t tell your brother. That’s not my place.” Cornelia spoke softly. It was calming, he felt a little safer. 

He sat down on the bed right beside her. She took his hand and looked him in the eyes with a soft smile on her face. “I love him.” Phil said, his face dropped and a few tears dripped down his cheeks.

“Oh honey.” She said before wrapping him up in her arms. Being 10 years older than him, she was like a big sister to him. He loved her like family. “It’s okay. No one is going to judge you. We all love you and who you are. This doesn’t change you.”

“You don’t know that. Martyn was such a dick growing up and called me ‘faggoty Phil’ with all the other kids. Yeah he’s changed now but i’m still so hurt i don’t know if i can handle it.” Phil cried into her shoulder. 

“You know,” she began, running a hand up and down his back to calm him. “When I came out to him, he cried and told me he was mean to you growing up and he regrets it because you’re all that he’s had for a long time. You helped him make his company and grow it to what it is now. He loves you so much and he’s never ever, ever! Lose you over the fact you fell in love.”

“Thank you.” Phil said, pulling back and looking at her. “You’re amazing and I’m so glad you’re in my life.”

“Any time my love.” she said with one last hug. “I’ve got to go back to him before he orders everything on the room service menu and regrets it.” 

He laughed while walking her to the door, waving at her as she walked down the hall to her room. He felt content. But he still wasn’t ready to tell Martyn anything. 

With a huff he closed and locked the door, he grabbed his phone and sat on his bed. The only thing that could make him happy right now would be a call with Dan. He misses his boy so bad.

To Dan: i know its 2am, but can i Skype you? I miss you <3

From Dan: yeah just give me 5 minutes. 

In that time he went to the bathroom, took out his contacts, stripped and got under the covers. He was mostly naked now, he only liked to wear pajama bottoms to bed, nothing else. The lamp in the corner was the only light aside from his laptop brightness. It was nice and calm in his room. 

The skype jingle played through his screen, he accepted the call from Daniel Howell. The screen went from black to the image of a half dressed Dan kneeling on his bed.

“Oh. my.” was all Phil would iderate. He was completely blown away by what he was seeing, but also sad he wasn’t there to grab his hips and push him back onto the mattress before fucking him senseless. 

“Like it daddy?” Dan said, running a hand down his naked torso towards his lacey black panties before cupping his cock in his hand. 

“More than anything angel. Where’d this come from.” Phil asked, trying not to drool at the sight.

Dan continued to rub his hand over his hardening bulge, Phil felt himself get harder under his PJ’s but he was too busy staring at Dan to do anything about it. “Thought you needed to unwind after a long flight. What do you say daddy? Would you like to come for me? Let me see you unwind daddy.” Dan’s voice was deep and erotic, a totally different tone that Phil would have never thought Dan could muster. 

“I don’t know baby,” Phil spoke, sitting up more and setting his laptop further down the bed. “I think I need to see a little more before I decide.”

Slowly he slid the panties down his hips, pulling his cock down with them until it was finally freed, springing up and hitting his stomach. “Tell me what you want daddy.”

“Touch yourself. Pretend it’s me. If you feel yourself getting close I want you to stop and wait a minute. Then I want you to get your lube.” Phil demanded in a low voice that made Dan’s hair visibly stand up. 

“Yes sir.” Dan replied, grabbing hold of his cock and stroking it like he was asked. 

Phil reached behind himself and grabbed a pillow to prop up his laptop. He slowly shimmied out of his pants, Dan moaned as he saw Phil’s cock appear on his screen. “Remember what I said. If you get close you stop.”

“Yes daddy.”

This isn’t what he was expecting when he called Dan. He was expecting to tell him about his chat with Cornelia. He didn’t realize he’d have his hand wrapped around his hard cock, slowly working it while he watched Dan. 

Dan stopped all his movements, “what now daddy?” He planted out. 

“Remember you told me you have a toy? I want you to prep for it. Turn around and let me watch you wreck that hole.” Phil growled, his voice deeper than it had ever been. 

“Holy fuck, yes daddy.” Dan said, he got of the bed and out of frame, Phil could hear him rummaging through a drawer in the background. 

When Dan returned, he got on the bed and faced the other way, turning his head back to see if he was still in frame and smiled. He knew how good he locked. 

Phil was practically drooling watching Dan play with his hole. Running a single finger over the rim before pushing it in. His back arched and Phil felt his cock twitch at the sight.

After 3 fingers and the most whorish moans he’d ever heard, Phil told him it was time for me. “Turn back to me and I want to watch you ride that cock.” 

When he turned around, his face was red, his breathing was heavy and Phil know he was ready to finish. He got up on his knees, angled the toy under him and slowly slid onto it. 

“Oh, oh d-daddy I wish this was you.” He said once he bottomed out. 

“Me too baby. It’s okay. Ride it, look at me, you can do it baby.” Phil said before angling the screen so Dan could see more of Phil’s hard cock. 

He barely touched it, he wanted to come with Dan, so it was painfully hard. Beads of pre-cum collecting at the tip. He stroked it once, bringing his hand back up to collect the pre-cum and drag it over his length before stroking some more. Every time his hand reached the tip he made sure to run his thumb over the slit. He could feel the heat pooling in his stomach with every stroke. 

Dan was still bouncing on his fake cock though the screen, moaning and panting “daddy” every so often. The sight was spectacular, he wished he could reach his hand around Dans neck and pull him down into a rough kiss like he knew Dan liked. 

“Fuck baby, I’m so close.” He said, gripping his cock tighter and thirsting up into his hand.

“Daddy can I come please?” Dans wrecked voice asked.

“Yes baby! Oh god yes.” Phil panted, watching Dans hips shake as he ground down on his toy. 

He came over his hand with a grunt, trying to be as quiet as possible. He slowly pumped his hand on his cock while he rode out his orgasm. 

Dan on the other end had grabbed the laptop and pushed it to the side so he could flop forward onto his stomach. 

“Wow.” Was all Phil could say. He reached over and grabbed some complimentary tissues from his night stand and cleaned himself off. He pulled his pants back up and readjusted the laptop on his lap. 

Dan was still lying down, his face in the mattress and the laptop beside his head. “You still alive babe?” Phil asked. 

Dan groaned as an answer. He sat up a bit and reached behind him, he pulled the toy out and flung it somewhere. “I’ll deal with that later. I can’t feel my legs.” He said with a laugh. 

“All that, from a toy?” Phil joked, fully knowing he’s made dan more of a wreck himself. 

“Fuck off, it was nowhere as good as you are. Remember I passed out mid orgasm the one day?” Dan reminded him.

“Yeah remember me shaking you awake and freaking out cause I thought I’d have to call nine-nine-nine and explain why I had a cum covered man passed out in my bed?” Phil said back, his voice as panicked now as when it happened. 

Dan just laughed, “you’re so cute.” 

“I love you.” Phil whispered, wishing he could say it to his face and hold him in his arms. 

“Love you too.”


End file.
